Sometimes you miss someone so bad.. :(

bismillahirrahmanirrahim
assalamu'alaikum wbt

kadang-kadang kita
merindukan seseorang
seorang kawan, seorang sahabat, seorang saudara.

kadang-kadang kita boleh menghubunginya
kadang-kadang tidak
terpisah dengan jarak yang jauh
zon masa yang berbeza
internet yang tiada
no reception area
dan juga,
situasi yang tidak membenarkan.

kadang-kadang
kita rindukan kata-katanya
walaupun sekadar 'assalamu'alaikum ukhti'
itu sudah cukup menggembirakan.

tapi apakan daya
kadang-kadang kita hanya perlu bersabar
dan berdoa kepadaNya
mengikat hati kita denganNya
membaca ayat-ayat wahyuNya
menguatkan diri, iman dan amal kepadaNya.

kerana,
apa yang pasti
hidup di dunia ini fana
dan segala makhluk di atas bumi ini juga fana
yang kekal hanyaNya satu
Dia yang paling layak kita rindui, kembali, ibadahi dan patuhi.

bismillah

when you're sad and you don't know what to do,

just pray

and ask Allah for guidance

and ask for this sadness to pass

and be lifted way from the soul

amin.

I think life is a process. You learn things as you go along. You will make mistake to know that it will occur has been one of the most enlightening thing for me. What does it mean to know that you'll make mistakes? To know that you'll learn? Does it mean that you'd develop an inferiority complex? Or that you 'd feel that a mistake is eventually a mistake? Or that you'd become easily blameful and cynical to anything bad that comes your way? Oh, it was bound to happen. Was that what it was meant to mean.

Before, I had it that way. When people say every person in their life will make mistakes. That every couple will fight. That every best friends will become closer with fight.

I refuse to believe this. I thought it was nonsense. Why should the best of friends fight? And why should mistakes be made in life? Isn't it just demotivating. And such a negative way to look at life. If you start out your life with that in mind, of course you'd play out exactly what was thought of. It's belittling. It's a trick. It's a trend that people have been put into. Which I thought was not not correct.

Alhamdulillah I've gone a long way since then. What I've found from time and space..is that, to know the thing, to know that life is a process and that people make mistakes...it was not meant to be negative. On the contrary, it was meant to be overly positive. The knowledge that life is a process and that you will make mistakes, is meant to make your life rich. Super-rich. It will give you such an outlook in life, that everything is a treasure. What is a 'mistake' and what is a 'process'? It's an experience! It's something that is not seen but felt. When you accept that something is process or a mistake, you're fluid. You are changeable. You are mosaic-full, colourful. You're happy. It's not something depressing for you. But something exciting. Something peace-ing. You've and you'd completely open and released yourself for change. You've left any pre-conceptions, anything that would make you not change. What people thing. the world that you would lose, friends or whatever. It doesn't matter. Your goal is now to get through that process. And to feel more and more of it. It is mind-blowing and exhilirating. But you will only feel it if you have released yourself.

Now, a human being is always holding on to something. If you've one thing, it's impossible for you not to hold on to another. It's just natural. We are very dependable creatures. We live on a concept, principle, a structure of mind or heart. No human being is without one. So, here's the thing. When you have accepted that life is a process, to which process do you adhere to? Step 1, step 2, step 3 of a process can differ a lot depending on the form of processes you choose. Who decides they chain of steps? How do you decide your direction?

For me, I have chosen Islam. And that 'life is a process' for me is equivalent to 'tarbiyyah'. The whole life is one big tarbiyyah. And how do I know what is what and the directions that I would mould myself, it would be according to Allah.

Our Education

Assalamu'alaikum,

here's my thoughts as i was going thru the vid...feel free to follow together..=)

minute 13:00 - hm.. i wonder if m'sian teachers ever feel like they're not allowed to teach...

and i wonder if m'sian doctors ever feel like they're not allowed to treat...

hm..

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minute 21:51 - wow...high school? wow...yeah..people like George Bush won't be elected if that is what is taught... no wonder the politicians of the old..like if in M'sia..Tun Razah, Tun Hussein On...they're really politicians of the people you know...amazing down-to-earth and really serving not themselves or their wallet..but people...lovely... :)

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minute 25:45 - i agree. Grades are not everything... you need to know what you're learning.

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minute 27:00 - yeah..this was an issue i had a problem with...that does not settle down with me well some time ago..i've sort of like accepted that you know, nowadays, this is how the world is going..i don't agree with it...but you know it has to come from the person itself..i can't force it on them..i can say my views..i can repeat it many times..it's good reminders..and it should be propagated many many times and more...in the end however, i think the person has to believe it themselves and have trust in Allah...and you know..act it

--

minute 38:00 - yeah i think that's one of the problem i've discussed about with my friends, about the education in Malaysia..there's a lack of ability or culture..of entertaining the iradah of a person..and i mean, supporting iradah..not lowly desires..but, iradah. Meaning..the actual interest of a person. A child in M'sia is simply into the system, which levels them all out. And their own specific interest and abilities are fully supported. I think at the moment, this responsibility has to fall on the parents, especially the mother, to fully be sensitive and aware and cater these iradah...simply because of the fact that it takes time to change the system.. because system comes from the mindsets, the fikrah of the individual people who make up the system itself...so, yes, an effort needs to be done..but it would be futile and it would crumble really easily, if it's not approached and emphasized at the individual/mother level... however, efforts from an institutionalized level is still impactful...but i think the emphasize needs to be reemphasized and highly pushed towards the active work/role of the parents.

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minute 40:24 - heheh :) tea... :) qana'ah... Alhamdulillah.. :)

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minute 40:59 - i agree that people should know themselves well to know their boundaries and limits well so they overburden themselves that in the end, they really have not got anything, or become an anasir taghyir..meaning, an agent of change..for their own selves and for others. I agree in focus and some times, all these technologies around are overstimulants. You know all those images and sounds and all sorts of overtasted food are just overburdening and concentrating and in the end overshocking and shotting our five senses that in the end, we just become confused and basically not really our directions and we become lost. But, I do think, that notion, that understanding needs to be differentiated from the idea of 'multi-tasking'.

For me, we all should multi-tasking, it's not a bane if you learn it well. For the very simple reason that the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w was a multi-tasker. You know, he doesn't sit at home and just focused himself on doing one thing. There was one sole constant thing he did everywhere he went, which is da'wah and tarbiah. In any situation, no matter what he was doing at that time, he was da'wah-ing and tarbiah-ing. He was teaching, he was nurturing. And that was the constant fikrah, the constant mindset, the constant hadaf, the constant viewpoint. Always.

So, I think our minds should always be focused on one thing. So, that, that one thing will always make us do things and tasks that will only pertain to that one thing. Things and tasks. So, you multi-tasking is therefore not in contradiction.

ok. :)

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from 51:10 onward - this part i think you need to watch with caution. His ideas and statements here are very dangerous if you understand it out of context, or if you understand it wrongly. What kind of boredom does he mean here? it does not mean not doing anything, but it means downtime, thinking time. What does he mean by challenging the mass? he means the mass's activity and thoughts that's suicidal/ self-destructive, without aim, materialistic, pure sensualism and hedonistic. without principles. That's one example. What does he mean but people who just sit down and contemplate? Does this means hermits who does not mix with the society? No, you know.. it does not justify pure contemplation states without actions..it's not beruzlah... but actual actual think-tanks, smart well-contemplated policy makings... and of course you have to follow it up with implementations... in all walks of life you know.. whether you're a mother, a student, and individual...or someone who has a position..

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56:55 - yeah...it's scary that people have been so dumbed down.. it has caused a lot things just being 'let happened'. Masses of people have just let things happened. Because of this process of the mind being dumbed down, poisoned I would say, ghazwul fikr.

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1:02:40 - wow..hm...non-age-segregated learning.

em..i'm kinda starting to fall in love with this idea of homeschooling...mm..

1:04:00 - waa i need and 'an ounce patience' for this! and i need to 'really want to do it'...interesting...hu... but it's possible right.. it's not impossible..

1:05:22 - wow really?

1:05:42 - wow..interesting! :D

1:06:00 - wuish. wow..the after effort, the self effort after the class must be what's more.. it's how much to want it and how much you want to keep it and remember it and apply it in your life and of course tell to other people then, that seems to be the.. magic. hm..

1:10:02 - true true... there's way too much pseudo-idea of success right now in our world. And also, i agree with 'honour above poverty'..you know if you're rich but you have no honour, no honesty...it's a dead life..and of course, a dead hereafter...you know..never sacrifice principles over materials...it's self-destruction..it kills you inside..also, beautiful statement : 'it's a short trip'...life ends abruptly you know...

--

Alhamdulillah..a very good enlightenment! ^_^

Forensic class

bismillah

salam wbt

*sigh...* had a class about suicide today..

too sad...just too sad..

i think people kill themselves because they have not found reason for them to live...or that they find the reason to be too insignificant or that they're consumed in thoughts of what they perceived as the only reason to live...

and life means nothing...and unbearable to live in anymore..

it's so sad... gosh.. isk isk..

i'm sorry..

this is just too emotional...

i think they need a guide...they need someone to talk to..someone to show them the way...

i think they need Islam...they need to get to know Islam...

and we, those who know how meaningful life has become for us since we live and breath Islam needs to share Islam with them...they never knew about Islam you know...

we need to help..

the subject of suicide is just something very fragile to me...something very close and personal..

so I can say that I know how they feel..

but tarbiyyah has given me a life...a meaning..Islam has given me a life...and a love..and i hope, a bigger heart...i pray for it insyaAllah...

so i think people really should share. Islam is not a secret. it's not something exclusive to be kept within personal spheres or barriers or boundaries. It extends beyonds those constrictions. Islam is not exclusive. It's inclusive. It's a wide expanse. It's love and and sharing and peace and care.

let's share guys.

w'salam wbt

Bismillah

dear..hey..and hi

Allah...You know me..You know my inner thoughts...You know how I feel..

I've been trying to reconnect...with You...with old friends..with stuff...

but sometimes...the things you connect back with...your old friends...the ones you've grown up with..the ones you haven't seen for such a long time...

is scary....

and you're..

worried...

that there's never a time to turn back you know..

*sigh

And You know more than anyone..that time ends abrupt

anytime, anything can happen

anytime you can stop breathing

anytime you can die

and I'm afraid that they'd end short...

I'm afraid for unchanged melodies..

I'm afraid that I'm too weak to help...

Allah...You know me more than I know myself....

w'salam wbt

What's going on with me these days =)

Bismillah

Salam wbt..

These days I've just been trying to clean myself a lot. I guess both physically and internally.

There's a lot that I need to cater to. To change and to be better.

I'm trying to stabilise. Trying te get back closer to Allah. Trying to mend my relationships. Trying to bridge back broken bridges of communication. Trying to be a slave (to Allah s.w.t).

Ive been reading some stuff, listening to some things and pondering a lot. Checking myself a lot. And learning to be humble.

I've been listening to Suhaib Webb's Fatihah series. Listening also to Brother Nouman Ali Khan Tried to search for some Sheikh Hamza's talks...but there's not much of interest.

Erm...'ve been also reading explanations of hadiths, tafsir of al-Qur'an, reading about Sejarah Nusantara and I guess....a lot of muhasabah and mujahadah...fighting a lot interest to try to keep my heart pure from diseases of the heart.

Also, trying to get my study in tact. And praying to Allah....

__________

okay...:) I hope these words...stuff in my blogs and stuff here... will help you guys. Subhanallah, Allahu akbar and Alhamdulillah.

And...i'll post some links below for the stuff that I got above. Please visit the sites, and listen, and learn, and internalize, and externalize, in your heart, in your mind and in your actions. =) InsyaAllah I hope I will get to Paradise and I hope to meet all of us there. =)

Here they are:

Tafsir of Surah Al-Fatihah - Suhaib Webb

Tafsir of the Qur'an - Syed Al-Maududi

Tafsir Ibnu Kathir

Quran Recitation - Fahad al-Kandari

Just bought this book - waiting for it to arrive

and also this one =)

ok...w'salam wbt =)

have a good day guys...be honest with yourself ya...

=)