Hi! :I its been a long time..at least I feel it has been..since I've written here..I guess I've been busy.
This blog has been pretty much like a diary or maybe more like a journal..And I've been aching to write..You know I have these narratives in my head all the time..And I wanted to put in down on paper..but just I guess, there's some other more prior/priority things comes up.
Anyways..
I was studying for my Sports Medicine final a few a days ago and I came to this powerpoint slide
And so it talks about endurance, basically the ability to withstand long duration or period of exercise...Immediately HACC comes to my mind. Its my old club back in my A-Level years and its one club that has etched quite a notch in the memories of my short 24 years of life so far. HACC stand for Hiking and Camping Club. And we do of course a lot of hiking and camping, but we also do other outdoorsy-adventurous/extreme sports. Thing like white water rafting, wall-climbing, kayaking, paintball and so on.
The thing that came to mind when I see this word endurance is my first mountain. Its called Gunung Jerai (Mount Jerai) and also my last one. Called Mount Kinabalu.
I remember the first time I went a mount..was the most horrible experience I've ever had in my entire life. At least you know, physically horrible. Up to that point in my life, I had never been camping, never went into a forest much less scale a mountain. I joined the club exactly for that reason. I wanted to experience something new. And so, I was probably big-headed..I had no idea how tough it'd be to climb a mountain. I thought you know, you just go up. You just walk and walk...and if you have not reached the top, keep walking again. I had this fairly simple logic and this was exactly the one I hold on to all the way up.
But oh God. Seriously, it was not easy. Seriously. When you get so tired, that tired, nothing almost completely nothing crosses your mind as your moving. You're just telling yourself again and again, okayh girl, just put this one in front of the other, okay, now again, this foot in front of that one, don't stop moving, you can do this, it's not that far, just a little bit more, alright, come on. And I was calling Allah. I thought I'd might just die of exhaustion. I prayed that if I die now, please, make it worth it. I was well aware that this is probably not how I hope to die. You knwo, death during a purposeless mountain climb is not the way I wanted to go. But, I was really really spent. Extremely exhausted. I can feel every muscle aching. I heaving. I was bent almost to the ground trying to push myself to keep on going. It was at night (night climb), so thank God no one can see me in that state. But it was horrible.
But, so, that was you know, my first mountain. You know, when you buy a new shoe, you have to break it in or some say bite it before you can actually wear it with comfort. Well that's how I felt the first mount first. It was like, you have to break into it first.
Several mounts after that was not as bad for me. You still need to push yourself, but you're a lot more prepared.
The time I Allah let me climb Kinabalu, was one of the best thing I've ever experienced in my life. Erm, I like nature. And this time, I was alhamdulillah able to look around and enjoy the nature, in spite of the usual physical struggle.
You see, with the first mount, I was very engulf in pushing and motivating, just basically with the inner struggle to just keep on moving. So, in that frame of mind, you're not aware of what's around you. You're not able to enjoy the scenic landscape around you or to appreciate the beauty. Alhamdulillah as you get more accustomed and your physiology adapts itself to that kind of stress, Allah gives you the vista or the opportunity to see the beauty around you.
So with Kinabalu, alhamdulillah I was able to just experience and appreciate the beautiful nature.
But it took quite a lot of hardwork and consistence.
About three to four months before the climb, I start preparing myself. I'd go jogging every single day about an hour a day to build up my fitness and endurance. The goal was not strength but endurance. I make sure I eat healthy. There was no ice or cold drinks. And I stayed away from junk food. It was also I guess to train my discipline.
Once you get on the mountain. The most important thing for me is consistency. For others, and I think for actually quite a many others, the style is to go fast and strong. They would up really fast, some of them even at the speed of running, and then take a long break/rest every now and then. For me, I'm more of and I like to take more of the slow-and-steady way. I would walk at a steady pace, and I would keep it at that pace all the way through. I take stops but not long one. Just a short break. The challenge with this course, is you have be laid-back, calm, persistent and not be swayed by people constantly overtaking you. Usually first they'll overtake you, then, when they're taking their long stops, you move ahead of them, then, once they start moving again, they overtake you again. But I don't mind, I like going slow and steady.
The first 2 hours or so, I had to really push myself. From previous experience of climbing, at first you have to push yourself. Then, there will be this one point, where you don't have to push yourself anymore, and your body will be completely relaxed and moving automatically on its own. That point actually is quite a huge rush.
And so, the first 2 hours are the most challenging. These first hours, I have to motivate myself profusely, really tell myself to continue walking, don't stop, breath in a fixed rhythm, keep on moving and so on. It's the most difficult stage and its the one you're most likely to give up at. But if I give up at this stage, I know it would be much more harder to continue on. Because if you stop at that first stage, your body cannot adapt, and you will have to start programming it as if from the start and you'll have to push again. And you don't want to be stuck in that cycle throughout the whole climb. So, I have to convince myself that I will reach that easy point after this hard stage, for me to keep on going.
In this first stage, the exhaustion will build up. At first, you will feel okay, not too bad. Then, it will get slowly more tiring. Then, it gets exhausting. Then, you will so completely tired that you'd just want to turn around and go back down the mount. You'd want to stop. You'd start thinking about all those other things that you could have been doing right now. You'd start thinking about Haagen Daaz and Baskin Robbins and Neslo and all your favourite. And you'd about just sitting down and just sleeping. This is probably the hardest point in the whole climb for me. At this moment, I really really have to fight myself. Fight all my nafsu, all those disturbing thoughts that's telling me to just stop and give up. I tell you, it's very hard. And the one thing that I use to keep me going is that hope for that transition point, that this is normal for the first stage, and I will get over it, and things will be easy after that.
If you keep going and going, you will finally reach that transition point. It's like, you feel like, something switched on, or click with your physiology/body. Just suddenly, your mind is clear and body is relaxed. You don't feel tired anymore. And there's no need for that profuse hard motivations because its as if you're on autopilot. Your legs are just moving on its own. And your eyes and and your mind is free to wonder. Its actually quite exhilarating. This is the best best moment of the whole climb.
From this point onwards, I can think about anything and everything. Its just me and my Allah. I can throw my sight to this beautiful landscape around me and breath its refreshing air and just be completely at peace. I can express my feelings to Allah. I can ponder on my problems outside of this moment, problems with friends, at home, whatever. It's like..I don't know how to say...It's peaceful. And you'd given the chance to just comb throughout your life and be completely grateful everything that Allah has given you. And this feeling, it stays with you, all the way up to the peak, when you're viewing this vast vast landscape and you feel so small against this tremendous creation and you're amazed at God and this feeling stays with all the way down when you make your way back.
Its an amazing feeling. Amazing experience.
____________________________________________________________________
When I look back at that experience, I to relate it a lot with my daily life and I try to apply the concepts involved.
The general concept of not giving up and to be persistent and consistent and be disciplined in all that you do is very much applicable every day. Also, the feeling of being overtaken by others that seems to be moving faster than myself, has huge parallelism in my life. A lot of time, I know I have to stick to my principles no matter how much others are moving past me. Whenever the society say that this is right or okay, but I know it is wrong, this is the moment that concept apply. You know, as a muslim, we are the ghuraba' of this age. We are weird in society's eyes. And we are odd. And we are against the tide, the stream of the river. Now, how do you find the strength to stick to it. To go on doing you know what is right, when everyone else is doing exactly the opposite. Its tough. Admitted and unarguably, it is tough. This is what keeps me going. Knowing that, at one one point, this will get easy. And it will feel like heaven.
You've already got that taste of heaven every day you know. When its just you and your Allah. And you feel His caress, and nothing else matters. You feel that every day.
Imagine a day..
When the sun is bright, but you feel no heat,
When the breeze is just right
And you feel free
And just nice
And the trees are green
Flowers blooming
The sea as blue as the sky
Birds singing its melodious zikr
And you're the ones you love
And your stomach full
And your mood happy..
You know...that will come
And you just have to believe in it
That it will be for you
Just keep at it
InsyaAllah
He is the Most Loving, Most Kind, Most Generous
He is waiting for you
Its up to you to come.
=)
No comments:
Post a Comment