Chemistry - possibly my bane (rhetorically)

Salam,

One of the things I don't like in life is Chemistry.

As far back as I can remember, it is the one subject that has ever gotten me a C. And it frustrated me then so much. First, because I had never gotten a C. And second, because I know I deserve that C. Because every time I stepped out of that Chemistry lab, I felt as stupid as a donkey. I was confused, I couldn't understand what was going on, those equations were making me crazy, especially those molar concentrations and ratios. Argh!

I've said before that I've never cared about grades but about understanding. I was so frustrated with Chemistry because of that. That I didn't understand what was going on.

Back in high school, Chemistry was somehow not that hard. Most I could figure out with logic. Same with maths, I tend to understand things logically and then, just applied them on those questions on paper. I don't much like doing mathematical exercises/problems, and I don't like checking my answers after finishing pages of those equations in the tests. And Chemistry was the same. Some required memorization but most I applied logic.

But when you get to A-levels...you'll meet the mother of all Chemistry...Organic Chemistry.
Urgh. All those memorizations involved, all those different reactions and pathways, just do not make sense to me. How do you possibly prove that these things are happening. Can you look under a microscope, and see these atoms and molecules the way they are portrayed. No. These are only theories. Imaginations of how it might be like. But, seeing the education system in Malaysia, and how I had bought into the whole education pathway that supposedly all the best students of Malaysia are taking.....I had to get better grades from my Chemistry. So I sat down one holiday. I think it was about a week or so. And set myself to studying those Chemistry books. Whatever it is, I'm going to understand this thing.

So, Alhamdulillah, Allah got me through that time. But now again, in med school, Chemistry comes to haunt me again. First, with Biochemistry in my 2nd year, and now Pharmacology in my 4th year. I think, Allah has not bless me with any sort of liking of Chemistry. It's just as hard now as it was then. If I could only use my logic, I would. But here, I have to do the same thing I did back at A-level, take the subject seriously, study and memorize first, even though they're all imaginations of reactions drawn as colourful pictures in books that can never be proven..., only then, after you've put yourself to studying that thing, can you apply your logic. At the moment, I'm not faring so well. Been busy with other stuff. Have not really been putting myself to any real study of those drugs. Cause and effect. To get through this, I need to really seriously multitask and put some serious effort into things. Focus.

I pray to Allah that things will be fine. And that he will shut away all the fitnah from the hearts of men.

Amin.

InsyaAllah.

Quiet day

Salam,

My today today, is a quiet day. I went to class in the morning. Back home in the evening. Cook. Pray. Then, went on my pc. Search youtube for some good da'wah video to put on my YM status. And then, opened my tafsir book get some readings done. Then, went on blogger to get a blog entry in. And now, I'm writing here telling you my day. :)

Tired now. Need sleep...good nite guys. =)

bye bye!